You Are My Sunshine
by Sveta91
Summary: Re-release, details in Ch. 1 description. Everyone is falling apart after Johnny and Dally's death. But when Darry's high school sweetheart gets back in touch, she could have the ability to bring the gang back to life or break the one person that has kept them all together. It's hard being in love with the sun. Flashbacks into Darry's past. Language and sexual themes. Mature.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: In Mourning**

 **A/N: So I published this story a couple years ago under a different pen name which I can no longer log into because forgot my password and don't have that email address anymore. But I am now re-releasing it with the full intention of finishing this story. I will post the next chapter some time next Sunday and would appreciate feed back. Thanks!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.**

"Two-Bit will you turn that down!" I yelled from the kitchen as I bent over the bills. The constant chatter of Mickey Mouse and Black Pete was really starting to get to me. But of course, Two-Bit ignored me. He was too caught up in his show; there was something about that flickering box that made him forget everything in the real world. Sometimes I wondered if he actually thought he _was_ Mickey Mouse.

"Darry? Did you iron Pony's jersey for tomorrows meet?" Soda asked coming down the stairs.

"Not yet, but I'll get to it." I said as I tried to remember my multiplication tables.

Soda nodded as he made his way towards the laundry room. "Don't worry about it Darry, I'll do it."

"No Soda, you don't have to do that. Honestly, I'll do it myself once I'm finished here. You all ready cleaned the kitchen and mowed the lawn today, take a break!"

"It's really fine." he said pulling Pony's shirt out of the dryer. "I need to do something."

I turned back towards the bills and placed my pen on the table, then put my head in my heads. Ever since Johnny and Dally's death nothing was the same. Two-Bit had dropped out of school and was doing a few odd jobs every now and then, but mostly he just watched TV. He'd sit in front of it from morning till night, completely lost in the static fuzz of the television. In total contrast was Soda. He worked from six in the morning till seven at night, then came home and worked his butt off around the house. He told me that if he was working, then he wouldn't be thinking. And thinking was what he was trying to avoid.

I sighed sadly and tried to continue with the bills until the door slammed open and Steve walked in, completely drunk and yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Hey guys!" He yelled swaying slightly. "You have to get down to The Dingo! There's a huge brawl about to happen between Sheppard and some redneck! And it's got a good chance that it'll turn into a rumble!"

"Will you shut up!" I hissed getting up out of my chair. "Pony is sleeping for once! And if you wake him up Steven you'll be sorry!"

Steve lowered his eyes, ashamed of himself. He walked into the kitchen and got a glass of water, trying to sober up. Steve's method of grieving probably made the most sense to me, and if I didn't have Pony and Soda to worry about I'd do the same thing, get drunk every night. When your drunk you don't remember anything, you just laugh, fight, and have a good time. But I was starting to worry about Steve a bit. Soda told me he had come into work drunk recently and was in jeopardy of loosing his job.

He chugged down his glass then wiped his mouth steadying himself against the wall.

"So, do any of you wanna go or not?" he asked again, quieter this time

"Naw, that's ok." Two bit said still starring at the TV. "I'm not really in the mood."

"And I have to finish the laundry." Soda said coming in the with a bunch of clothes to fold.

"Soda, please go." I begged starting to help him. "I can handle this, you need to get out and do something. You too Two-Bit!"

"I'll go."

I turned around as saw Pony walking down the stairs completely dressed. I cussed under my breath and sent a death look at Steve. "What are you doing up Buddy?"

"Can't sleep." he said for the fourth time this week. "Can I go to The Dingo Darry? I promise I'll be back by two and my meet isn't until three tomorrow anyway. I'll have plenty of time to catch up on my sleep then."

Looking at Pony was the by far the worst. He had huge bags under his eyes and they were red and puffy from crying too. His hair was still a blonde mess and he was also a lot thinner. The school had already called me twice about Pony, wanting to know how he was coping with Johnny and Dally's death. Even after six months the answer was still the same, not well.

I looked at Pony for a moment longer, then nodded. I hated to say no to him for anything now. He gave me a very small smile, then went to get his shoes.

Suddenly the phone rang on the table making us all jump. I let it ring a few more times then finally picked up the receiver and said hello.

"Hey Darry? Um... it's Wendy."

I felt all the blood run out of my face as my stomach filled with butterflies. I slowly sat down on our old, battered couch as I tried to think of what to say. We hadn't spoken in two years, yet she still was able to make me weak in my knees. I shook my head, trying to clear the waves of images that were running across my mind. A young girl crying on the playground, her punting my football, catching fireflies in the front yard, then finally my arm around her shoulders as she wore my favorite leather jacket.

"Darry? Hello...? Are you there?" I suddenly snapped out of my trance and noticed all the guys were watching me, confused and concerned.

"Yeah...yeah I'm here." I said trying to sound normal. "Hey Wendy! Wow, its been a while." At that the guys mouths dropped. All at once they ran towards the couch, trying to get as close as they could to the phone.

"Oh your coming to Tulsa?" I responded to her as I tried shoving Soda away. "Oh that's fantastic...yeah call me when your in town. I'd love to see you and catch up...Ok...Alright I'll talk to you later. Goodnight." I gently put down the phone as I let out a huge breath.

"That was Wendy." I said to the guys, repeating what they already knew. "Wow.."

I didn't know what else to say so I walked towards the kitchen, just trying to get away from my friends who knew me too well. I heard Soda tell everyone to let me be which I was thankful for. I went out to the back porch and sat down taking out my wallet from my back pocket. I took out the picture I hadn't looked at in years, but kept with me always.

"Damn." I whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: A Butterflies Dream**

 **A/N: Please remember to review when you finish reading. I would super appreciate it!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own The Outsiders**

I had known Wendy for as long as I could remember. Mom and Ms. Thompson had been friends since grade school so it was natural that they would want to see each other. As a result, Wendy and I were often forced to play with each other. Wendy lived on the nice side of town, what we now call the Soc side. She always looked picture perfect with her brown, wavy hair and freshly pressed sun dresses. But honestly, I never really thought about her. She was just Wendy, that annoying girl that always came over with Ms. Thompson and wanted me to play dolls with her. It wasn't until I was seven years old that I actually remember liking Wendy. I'll never forget that day for as long as I live.

It was on the playground playing with some friends when I heard someone crying near the slide. Wendy was with a bunch of boys and tears were streaming down her face. She was wearing a pretty yellow sundress with white sandals and a matching bow in her hair. Her soft brown eyes were spilling over tears as she knelt next to the grass crying over a dead bug.

"Geez Wendy!" Tim said annoyed. "It was just a caterpillar! Calm down! You're gonna get me in so much trouble!"

"What happened?" I asked him and his two other friends.

"She was talking to that caterpillar like it was a person! It was weird so I squished it." he said in a nonchalant tone.

"You killed it!" she yelled in complete dismay. "How could you do such a wicked thing!?"

Tim clenched his fists and came towards her, I stepped between them. "Just leave her alone Tim."

"Why?" he asked. "She's a freak!"

"Because her mom and my mom are friends, okay? If I don't stop you from picking on her then my mom is going to kill me!"

"Alright, Darry." Tim said after a moment of thought. "I'll leave her alone because she's your friend. But that's the only reason. She's way weird!"

Once he left I turned towards her, expecting a thank you but instead got her death stare, something I'd come to know very well as we grew up.

"I don't need your help, Darry!" she said getting up and brushing off her dress. "Don't stick up for me just because our mothers are friends."

I felt my face got hot with anger. "I just stuck my neck out for you and you can't even say thank you? Well fine! See if I ever help you again!" I sat down on the grass and ground my teeth, annoyed. "Why do you care so much about that stupid caterpillar anyway?" I asked after a moment of silence.

She looked at me as if she had never thought about it before. We were quiet for a few minutes before she finally answered.

"Because...that caterpillar had dreams, too, just like you and me. It dreamed of becoming a butterfly and being able to fly. But now, it will never have that chance. And it's so sad."

That was the first time I knew that Wendy was something special. Who else would think of a caterpillar having dreams and wanting to preserve beauty and life like that? She was so different from anything I had ever encountered before. Even at an early age I wanted to be around her; she was so bright.

"Darry! Wake up!" Soda yelled pounding on my door and interrupting my thoughts. "You're going to be late for work." I groaned and slowly got out of bed, cracking my back.

"Yeah, I'm up." I answered through the door. "I'll be down in a minute."

I quickly got dressed and went to the bathroom, then came into the kitchen and started making Pony's lunch.

"So what are you going to do about Wendy?" Soda asked as he gathered his things for work.

I shrugged. "I don't know. Meet up with her I suppose."

Soda starred at me for a moment then spoke his mind. "Darry, I'm worried about you. I know how much Wendy means to you. I just don't want you to get hurt again."

I tried to act cheerful. "Calm down, Pepsi Soda! I'll be fine! I practically forgot about her anyway." I turned away from him; we both know that was a lie.

"When is she coming again?" Soda asked after a moment.

"Saturday, I have no idea why. Her family moved to Connecticut last year so there really is no reason for her to come to Tulsa."

"Maybe she misses you." Pony said coming downstairs ready for school. I didn't dare dream.

"Come on, kid, let's get you to school." Soda said dragging him out the door, Steve honking his horn outside.

I waved goodbye to my brothers and got my things together, then locked the door and went to my car. What if Wendy did miss me? But it was impossible, I quickly concluded. She had a fantastic job in New York, lots of money, and hadn't a care in the world. To come back to him would only make her life more difficult. I tried to tell myself that if she did by chance want me back that I would resist her, but I knew I was lying to myself. I'd take her back in an instant if I had the chance. Being with Wendy was like being in constant sunshine; I was always warm and happy. I hadn't felt that way since she had left three years ago, and I doubted I would ever feel it again. Wendy was my one and only...and I had let her go.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: She Found Her Passion**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own the Outsiders.**

"Darry! I'm open!" Soda yelled from the far end of the lot. I threw the football a fantastic distance with Soda barely catching it and making a touchdown.

"The Curtis Brothers have done it again!" I yelled running towards Soda for a victory dance; we were the best team in the neighborhood.

Two Bit groaned. "This isn't fair! You both can't be on the same team! You know Steve is worthless when it comes to football!"

"Ya think so?" Steve yelled, tackling Two-Bit into the dirt and starting to wrestle.

It was the Fourth of July, and I was eleven years old. My family was having a cook out and invited all of our friends to come over for the party. I could smell the hotdogs and hamburgers on the charcoal grill in our back yard while Mom continued to greet friends that kept coming to the door. I loved the Fourth of July; fireworks, cook outs, and football in the lot all afternoon. Everything was perfect except one thing.

"Aww, great!" Soda said smiling. "Guys! We lost Darry!" Two-Bit and Steve stopped fighting and looked up to see Wendy waving from the my house; her mother and and my mom talking by the mailbox.

"Wendy!" I yelled running towards her. She was wearing a pair of old jean shorts, her black high tops and this yellow shirt I really liked. Whenever I thought about Wendy she was always in yellow. I had told her once that I liked that color best on her, so she had started to wear it all the time. She had just gotten back from a vacation to the beach with her family so she was a lot tanner then the last time I saw her, and her freckles were starting to show. I decided to keep that to myself. Even though I liked them, she thought they were ugly.

"We're playing football, come on! You can be on Steve's team."

She wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Aww, great! Picking on the girl again, Darry!" she joked, then started putting up her long hair.

The teams were rearranged. It was Soda, Wendy, and Steve against Two-Bit, Johnny and me. Pony was always the referee since he was only five and too little to play football.

"Hut, hut, hike!" I yelled looking around for Two-bit. Suddenly I saw a flash of yellow then was flat on my back, the wind completely knocked out of me.

"Dang, Wendy!" Steve yelled astonished.

Wendy got up from the ground, her shirt already covered in grass stains.

"Well I learned tackling from the best!" She looked down at me and smiled and offered me a hand up. Even though I could barely breathe, I was so proud!

Ever since the day at the playground, Wendy and I had become best friends. We told each other everything, shared secrets, and preferred being with each other over any other person. Unfortunately, her parents were making her go to an all girls private school on the other side of town so we were unable to hang out during the week. But the weekends were always ours.

We played football until we got bored, then Wendy and I went into the house.

"Darrel!" My Uncle Scott said from the couch. "You said you wanted to see my pictures from Africa right?"

Uncle Scott was a photographer for a magazine and got to travel all over the world to take pictures. He just recently went to Egypt, Sudan, and Kenya and I wanted to see some lions. This was the moment that Wendy found her passion.

Wendy had always been obsessed with nature. We could never sit down and watch TV for very long, because all she wanted to do was go outside and explore. She loved every bug, animal, and plant that we found and learned as much as she could about them. She had such an appreciation for beauty, which is why photography really caught her interest. As we looked at my uncle's pictures, her face lite up with delight as we saw distant lands, odd looking strangers, and different creatures from all over.

It took me forever to drag her away, but I was finally successful and we went outside to watch the fireworks. After a while I noticed Wendy watching her parents. I turned and saw Mr. and Ms. Thompson arguing again. I bit my lip wishing they would go in the other room. I knew how much they embarrassed Wendy when they did this. I took her hand and gave it a squeeze, then led her out to the back yard to catch fireflies.

The only good thing about Mr. and fighting was that Wendy got to sleep at my house. Ms. Thompson went home to get Wendy's sleeping bag and pjs, and then went home to deal with her husband. It was around midnight when Wendy finally opened up to me, downstairs in our living room. We had built a fort out of couch pillows and blankets with snacks and fun games inside. As we munched on popcorn, looking at our favorite comic _Superman_ , she finally laid back and let out a large sigh.

"Darry, I think my parents are going to get a divorce." I lay back beside her, ready to listen. "They're arguing has gotten a lot worse these past few months. The beach was unbearable! If my Aunt Amelia hadn't of been there, I probably would have hitched hiked home."

"What do they argue about?" I asked.

"Money, mostly. What a stupid thing to ruin a marriage over!" I nodded in agreement. I remembered my mom saying something about Wendy being wise beyond her years. I often thought she was right.

"It was awful nice of your uncle to let us look at his pictures." She started, changing the subject. "One day, I want to be just like your uncle. Travel to far off places, capture moments that would otherwise be forgotten." She looked at me and smiled. "I'm gonna do it Darry, I want this more then anything!"

I frowned, sitting up and looking away.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Well what about me?" I said a little hurt. "If you go off to Kenya or Thailand to take pictures then you'll leave me here all alone."

She smiled. "Darry don't be silly! I'll take you with me!"

I snorted. "What would I do in Thailand?"

"I don't know, be with me." I shrugged, it was good enough for me. I looked back at Wendy, she had her thinking face on. I could tell what was coming next would be serious.

"Darry, you'll always be my best friend right? No matter what happens?"

I laughed slinging one of my arms around her shoulder. "Of course stupid! What would I do with out you?"

I woke up with a start from the phone ringing. I had been dreaming about my past again. I sighed and tried to go back to sleep, I missed Wendy already. But the phone kept ringing, even after they hung up they'd call again, intent on getting me out of the bed. This was my only day off this entire week and they were forcing me out of bed at 9:00am. Life was cruel.

Once down stairs I grabbed the phone and growled into it. It was Pony's school. Apparently he had gotten in another fight and was being sent home. I groaned and said I was on my way. Pony had been acting out a lot lately. He had finally gotten over the crying stage and had now moved onto anger. He came home cranky everyday from school, and this was the second time this week that I had to go pick him up. He was sure to be suspended now. I needed to stop thinking about Wendy so much and focus on Pony and Soda again; they both needed so much help. It was times like this that I wished my Mom was still alive...or that Wendy was home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Crush**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own The Outsiders**

"Wendy! Over here!" I said, waving my arms from my seat. Her brown eyes searched for a moment, finally resting on me. She smiled and glided towards our picnic table, Socs and Greasers starring as she went. I was completely positive; Wendy was by far the prettiest girl in our school. We were fourteen years old and finally going to the same school together. Wendy's parents had split up the year before and she ended up having to move. Luckily, the only house her mother could afford was down the street from us, so we were able to see each other a lot more then just the weekends. I was fascinated by her as she stopped to talk to a friend; her long hair was the prettiest shade of brown there was and her laugh sounded like wind chimes on a summer night. I bit my lip as I watched her talk to other guys, trying to think why she liked hanging out with me anyway. She was already really popular around school; everyone knew Wendy Thompson. I was starting to worry that she would stop wanting to hang out with me.

"Hey, Darry!" she said happily as she placed her lunch between Paul and I. "How'd football tryouts go yesterday? Bet he was amazing, wasn't he Paul?" I smiled to myself as she sat between us; I don't know why I always worry. She was my best friend, nothing was going to change that.

Paul and Matt gave each other a look and waited until Wendy had left to get a soda, then turned to me smirking.

"So Darry, how long have you had a crush on Wendy?"

Their question took me off guard. "What are you guys talking about? Wendy is my best friend!"

"Don't play dumb, Darry." Paul said calling my bluff. "You've been starring at her like that for weeks!"

"No, I haven't." I was a terrible lair.

Matt started hooting with laughter. "Man, look at this guy blush! You really do like her don't you!"

"Why don't we tell her for you, Darry?" Paul said nudging my sides.

"Yeah, no sweat!" Matt said starting to get up. "Hey Wendy!"

I tackled him across the table before he could say anymore. "Shut up! If you say a word to her, I'll beat the crap out of both of you!"

Paul laughed. "Oooh! Sensitive! Geez Darry, you must really be in love with her!"

"I'm not in love with her stupid!" I hissed, panicking as Wendy started to walk back towards our table. "Now keep you traps shut!"

"Darry?" Wendy said, looking at me funny. "Why do you have Matt in a headlock?"

"Why don't you mind your own business, Wendy!" I snapped. "This doesn't concern you!"

She looked shocked and a little taken aback. I immediately regretted what I said. "Wendy I-"

"No your right, Darry." She said picking up her lunch. "It's not my business. I'm sorry." Then she and one of her friends got up and walked away.

The rest of the day Wendy ignored me. I tried to talk to her in History and ended up getting us both in trouble. I tried writing her a note but she didn't read it and when I tried to talk to her after school she just walked away. Wendy wasn't one of those people who could get over something quickly, she stayed mad for a while. I knew it was useless but I couldn't stand her being mad at me. Finally I walked over to her house after my second day of football tryouts and knocked on the door, hoping she'd let me in.

"Oh, hello Darry!" Ms. Thompson said smiling. I looked inside and saw that she had a gentleman friend over; that was sure to put Wendy in a bad mood as well.

"Hi, Miss. Smith," I said, almost calling her by her married name. "Is Wendy here? I really need to talk to her."

"She's in her room Darry, come on in."

I walked down the hallway and came to her bedroom door. I took a deep breath, then knocked. "Wendy? It's Darry. Can I come in?"

"No, you can't."

"Why not?" I asked annoyed.

"I'm washing my hair."

I sighed as I leaned against the door. "Wendy, I really am sorry! I don't know why I snapped at you today. Paul and Matt were pulling my chain and it just got to me!"

I paused, then put my ear to the door. "Wendy? Are you there?"

I slowly opened the door, poking my head into her room.

"Darry!" She screamed running into her bathroom; she was wearing nothing but a pair of pink underwear and a matching bra .

"Sorry! Sorry!" I said freaking out and closing the door. I let out my breathe and smiled to myself, despite my embarrassment.

Finally she opened the door in her bathrobe, a look of annoyance plastered on her face. I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry Wendy..."

She rolled her eyes then let me into her bedroom. Her walls were of course, yellow. And she had a white canopy bed with a few stuffed animals; the teddy bear that I had gotten her for her 8th birthday was in the middle. I sat down on her bed and took off my backpack, watching as she brushed her hair.

"You didn't...see anything, did you?" She asked after a moment.

"No." I said lying. She could tell and scowled at me. "Ok, just a little! But I won't tell anyone! I swear."

She rolled her eyes as she turned towards me. "Great."

"Wendy," I started again. "I'm really, really sorry! Please stop being mad at me, you know how much I hate when your upset. Please forgive me! I'll do anything you want me to! Just please don't be mad at me anymore."

She sighed then put down her hair brush. "I'm not mad anymore Darry, I'm just kind of sad. Do you think we're growing apart?"

"No!" I answered quickly. "Of course not!"

"It's just weird, you know?" she began, looking like she was about to cry. "I mean, I know I'm spending a lot of time with the girls on the cheerleading squad and you have your football buddies, but I'm just afraid things are going to change. And you didn't want to tell me something, for once in our entire life!"

I felt a twinge of guilt. "We're meeting new people, sure, but that doesn't change the fact that we'll always be friends!"

"But your hiding things from me!" she insisted.

I felt my throat grow tight; the truth was that I did like Wendy. I liked her a lot. She was the most wonderful girl I had ever met! I thought about her all the time and wanted nothing more then to never leave her side. But I was nervous, I could never tell her that! I sighed then looked into Wendy's beautiful brown eyes. "Wendy, I promise I'm ok and that I'm not in any trouble. But I just can't tell you right now. But someday I will, I promise."

"Ugh!" She groaned. "I hate not knowing secrets! But fine!"

"Well this might make you feel a little bit better." I said as I went to my backpack, bringing up a box wrapped in Christmas paper. "Sorry, it's all we had."

"Is this an early birthday present or a peace offering?" she asked, laughing as she tore the paper off.

"How about a bit of both."

She opened the box and then was silent. She starred at what I bought her for a few moments, then looked at me as her eyes started to tear up. I was afraid that she didn't like it or that I had gotten the wrong kind.

"Darrel, this is amazing!" she exclaimed jumping into my arms.

I grinned, relieved. "I'm glad you like it."

"I love it!" She ran into the closet then came out a moment later, her camera in hand. "Come on! Let's take a picture." She put her arm around me and put her camera above us, then kissed my cheek and snapped a picture.

I took out an old shoe box from underneath my bed and grinned as I looked through it. This shoe box had everything that reminded me of her. There were a few shells from our trip to the beach, _Superman_ comic books, a pressed sunflower, and a bunch of photos she had taken of us through out the years. I laid back against my bed and smiled looking at the first picture she took of us; man we were young back then. It was Wednesday and she was supposed to be here Friday night. I was scared. I didn't know what to do when I saw her, or what to say. But I couldn't not go. Maybe this would be good for me, maybe I was actually over her. I doubted it, but I had to see her. Even if in the end, it would hurt me more.

 **Review please!**


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